My title for this post is a bit of a misnomer. These are two separate subjects that I am going to house under one post for simplicity!
Children or Specifically Jacinth
I was sitting in the living room the other day with my netbook out working away. Jacinth was sitting on the couch quietly talking to herself just passing the time. All I could think of was the line from the movie Cars where Lizzie says, "if people here you talking to yourself, they'll think you're crazy!". It made me smile and I thought it was cute.... then a little while later I caught myself talking to myself quietly while working on the netbook! Oh dear, she learned it from me!
Earlier that same morning Jacinth sat down beside me on the couch with her pink dog - Fluffy. I heard her saying something and then realized she was making the dog pray to God - it was very cute.
Singles
I had someone ask my opinion on a recent Crosswalk article: Singles in the Church. So head over and read it first then come back and I'll give you my thoughts.
Overall, I like the direction the author has taken with this topic. I like the idea of deemphasizing the separation of life stages or groups and instead emphasizing our unity in Jesus. I'll first address some of the quotes I found as cautions and then give you my general thoughts.
"After all, if the whole point of going to church is to avoid 'forsaking the assembling of ourselves together,'..."
The author has made the assumption that Sunday services exist for the purpose of fulfilling the scripture quoted. What I question is what is the purpose of Sunday services and is it necessary to fufill this scripture? If Sunday services becomes the box we check to fulfill this scripture then I believe we have missed the heart of that passage.
How does this apply to singles in the church? Well, my admonition for those single would be the same as it is for those married: do not allow Sunday service to be the sole means by which you gather together with other believers. Does simply being present with other believers fulfill the heart of this passage?
Connecting
I thought I had a quote for this one but I can't seem to find it. The article speaks about singles and other ministries existing for the purpose of connecting people. Is this such a bad thing? To an extent, no, but whose job is it to connect the various members of the church (and I mean the church as in Christ's body)? We are grafted into the vine by Jesus - surely He can take care of linking us up to others who will help us on this journey.
Learn to look for those whom God is bringing across your path to connect with. He will bring the right people into our lives at the right time. Who knows our needs better than the One guiding us on this journey? God may use a ministry in a local church to connect you - and He may not. The point is not to rely on the ministry to connect us with others, but rather to rely on God and be willing to step out of our comfort zone at His biding.
"Take some initiative for creating fellowship and ministry opportunities for singles within your church—or, gasp!—from other congregations." (emphasis mine)
The author rightly uses sarcasm at this point. Yet what sadly makes this statement funny is how true it is. Read the first comment made under the posted article - do you see the defensive tone the man has with regard to his singles ministry that has been going for 30 years? The local church tends to instill the same defensiveness with regard to its members and other congregations.
"...understand what your pastors expect of you, and what you think you need..."
I respect what the author is trying to accomplish yet I question the underlying assumptions being made. Who should fulfill my needs? My Lord! My Friend! He fulfills all of our needs. When we begin looking to people (e.g. the local church, the pastor, elders, a ministry, etc.) to fulfill our needs we miss the best relationship we could be having with Jesus.
Jesus wants to fulfill our needs. Can He do that through others? Yes! Absolutely! In fact, we are often His instruments to others around us and He delights in using His children to fulfill the needs of brothers. Yet when we take our eyes off of Jesus as the one who supplies our every need, we create an environment of failure. Too often, we look to a ministry, a pastor, or someone else to fill a need in our lives.
Final Thoughts
I am not sure how much I truly addressed the article and my thoughts around it. We all have an underlying desire to fit in, to be accepted. We are relational beings and we desire to have relationships with others. Our first and foremost relationship should be that between us individually and God. I firmly believe when we learn to rest in His love, meaningful relationships with others will naturally arise. This is not to say there is no place for having ministries that reach out to believers within the body. It is to say, we should not place our hope or trust in such ministries.